It’s time for yet another archive of my daily Twitter post, Dialog Unlikely To Be Used #DUTBU. Enjoy!
- “Yeee-haw! Ride that Galapagos tortoise, cowboy, ride ‘im!”
- “How could we know? Seriously, who could have anticipated the world would one day be doomed because we let polyester leisure suits go out of style?”
- “Quick! Play a polka before the missile hits, it’s our only chance!”
- “Yes, exactly! You’ve got it! Now put it into the wood chipper and set the fondue pot to low.”
- “Guns! Tanks! Bombs! They’re like toys against them! There’s only one thing that will stop the Martian invaders— General, it’s time to call out the haberdashers.”
- “Oh. I see. Well, if that’s your final word, then I’ll just have to take my giant-stick-of-butter costume back to the duck.”
- Proverb Unlikely To Be Useful: “When life gives you lemons, stack them in the shapes of famous architectural landmarks.”
- Proverb Unlikely To Be Useful: “Early to bed, early to rise, mid-morning for coffee, lunch around 11:30 followed by a light… wait, where was I going with this?”
- Proverb Unlikely To Be Useful: “A penny saved may be grateful and write you a good letter of recommendation.”
- Proverb Unlikely To Be Useful: “Beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing. Also of monitor lizards cosplaying as insurance actuaries.”
- Proverb Unlikely To Be Useful: “Red sky at night, sailor’s delight; red sky in the morning, you’re probably on some planet that has red skies.”
- “O Mary darling, your trained ferrets hang from your earlobes with such grace and artistry!”
- “I always said you’ve got a good head on your shoulders. But you should put it away now, it’s dripping on the carpet.”
- “It should be strong enough. That’s inch-thick steel, held down by a dozen half-inch bolts, and we made sure the linguini used for the struts is al dente.”
- “You fool, you’ve collimated the nictating frabjuration manifold! How do you expect to levitate the rectifying stoichiometron now?”
- “Mrs Smith, we’ve consulted every specialist in the hospital on your husband’s case, and I’m afraid there’s no doubt: he’s got the mollywobbles.”
- “It’s my fault, I based my strategy on thinking we were in a sequel.”
- “Why, that’s ridiculous! How can he play the bagpipes without his otter?”
- “I am Zog, Mighty Hunter! My spear brings down the Mammoth and the Cave Bear! My arms tear whole trees from the ground! My lace doilies are more symmetrical than yours!”
- “I am Sir Lancelot of Camelot, choo-choo train driver.”
- “General! A breakthrough in the supersonic ballistic muffin project! We’ve cracked the corn problem, and expect progress any day now on the blueberry front!”
- “Eureka, Jenkins! After decades of research, I have finally perfected the portable mountain range!”
- “Do something for me, Sarge: if I don’t survive this mission, after the war find my wife and tell her that the Wankel Rotary Engine was patented in 1929.”
- “We journeyed far beyond the townlands into the wilderness, seeking always the clue to the location of the muffler shop.”
- “Look out! He’s got linguini!”
- “If we don’t act fast, the entire world’s supply of wicker will be in danger!”
- “Oh no, she’s having her baby, trapped in this elevator in a power failure! And the building’s on fire! And if we don’t defuse the bomb the city will be destroyed! And— who keeps pushing the ‘more plot’ button? Stop it!”
- “You know I love your writing, Will, but I think something needs a revision in this new one, ‘Hamlet, Toothpick-cleaner of Denmark.'”
- “Oh no, he’s accidentally braided his harmonica!”
- “Objection, your honor! The prosecution has not established that the penguins entered the room BEFORE the ravioli were overcooked.”
- “Sheriff! Sheriff! Them low-down rustlers went and stampeded the entire porkypine herd! Who’s gonna finish translatin’ Euripedes fer us now?”
- “I say, Monsieur Poirot, do you mean to say that Lord Melbury never actually entered the hot dog eating contest at all?”
- “Are you mad? How can you make bouillabaisse without a calliope?”
- “No, this was not a boating accident! It wasn’t any propeller, or a coral reef, and it wasn’t Jack the Ripper. It wasn’t a shark either. It was a sea cucumber.”
- “All right, Inspector, I admit it— I was the one on the stairs that night. But I’m not the murderer! I was only there to fillet my bagpipes!”
- “Captain, sensors indicate that the Klingons have just thrown a large banana cream pie at us.”
- “It drives me crazy— no matter where I go, my nose gets there first!”
- “…and then it always takes the best seat.”
- “You see, Inspector, the murderer first had his trained meerkat dig a burrow, THEN he filled it with the keys he removed from the grand piano. The rest was simplicity itself!”
- “Are you kidding me? NOW you bring out the gerbil expander?”
- “Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears! I promise to sew them back on when I’m done with them!”
- “It’s not the career I chose, but what else could I do? Everyone I met told me with elbows like mine, I had to be an accordion repairman.”
- “There’s no time to explain, just trust me: this is the most important blueberry cobbler in the history of the world!”
- “Old MacDonald had a farm, E I E I O! And on this farm he had a tapeworm, E I E I O!”
- “And ever since that night, on every Halloween the ghost appears, seeking its lost center-pivot high efficiency irrigation system.”
- “Oh no, we forgot to multiplex the anchovies!”
- “Dr Smith has now removed the diseased tissue, and we are ready to proceed with the transplant. Surgical team, please hand me the bagpipes and the rubber ducky.”
- “Do you seriously expect me to believe you braided the giraffe’s tail by ACCIDENT?”
- “Quick, Watson— the asparagus!”
- “Emperor Ming! Flash Gordon is approaching— and he’s got your commemorative Wizard of Oz chess set!”
- “O Mary darling, I love your beautiful smile, your wonderful laugh, and the charming way you arc weld locomotive couplers to all your armored steel plates!”
- “Calling all cars, calling all cars. Be on the lookout for an adult male suspect, wanted for questioning on a toothpick-arranging violation.”
- “It’s an impressive resume to be sure, but we just don’t have any job openings for an expert in tie-dyeing radio telescopes.”
- “Sorry, the penguins are busy painting garden gnomes right now.”
- “The alien armada is heading directly for Earth! Quick, deploy the Cheez-wiz!”
- “This is mutiny, Mr Christian! As Captain of the HMS Bounty, I order you to put down those Mahjong tiles at once!”
- “My name is Lancelot, Sir Lancelot of Camelot, and I am here to fulfill all your life insurance needs.”
- “No, you can’t go out to play until you finish recalibrating your scanning electron microscope.”
- “There’s no way to avoid it. No matter what we do, this ship will sink in two hours— and we’ve just discovered all the lifeboats were made out of pudding.”
- “There’s no way to avoid it. No matter what we do, this ship will sink in two hours— and we’re a full ten yards from shore!”
- “It can’t be avoided. No matter what we do, the ship will sink in two hours— and the lasagna is not as buoyant as we hoped!”
- “It can’t be avoided. No matter what we do, the ship will sink in two hours. If only we’d thought to build the hull using *waterproof* glue!”
- “Captain Video! I, Queen Sinistra of the Planet Empire, command you to deactivate your Proton Beams and surrender your Space Rocketship at once— or else I will no longer use melodramatic dialog at our next encounter!”
- “And no matter what you do, no matter how desperate the situation, NEVER comb your otter with a shrimp fork.”
- “This court martial is now in session. Members of the jury, put on the clown shoes now.”
- “Well, it’s partly my fault, when I said ‘bring turkey’ I just assumed you knew I meant the bird. But I’m sure we can find some extra chairs somewhere.”
- “Seriously? You want to paint the canopy bed before the platypus has even arrived?”
- “I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but your flatworm is bad at dancing the tango.”
- “Oh don’t be silly, no one will be paying attention to your nose. At least not until your ears get back from vacation.”
- “It’s a salad fork! Oh dear Lord in heaven, it’s a SALAD FORK!”
- “Squadron leader to base. On heading 270 degrees, altitude 25,000 ft, fuel 8000 pounds, speed 575 mph, onboard gerbil 2 ounces.”
- “It’s like a dream come true! Finally, a sea cucumber of my very own!”
- “Members of the Court Martial, Corporal Smith fell asleep while posted at the reactor control panel, and his dereliction of duty is directly responsible for the poached salmon being overcooked!”
- “We’ve consulted every specialist in the hospital, Mrs Smith, and they’re all agreed: you should have an architect design your gazebo instead.”
- “I recall my Grandpa’s last words to me: ‘My boy, a frivolous otter is better than a plaid platypus.’ I always try to live by his wisdom!”
- “But then, what about the ocelot?”
- “O Mary darling, no one can comb a chessboard like you!”
- “Oh well naturally, if you can get us a radio telescope then we can do without the pasta altogether.”
- “Igor, you fool! My creature needed that brain whole, not julienned!”
- “So, my old nemesis, we meet again! But this time *I* brought the Rigatoni Marinara!”
- “Now then, don’t be so upset, lots of people have trouble with excessive belly button lint.”
- “The time has come! Detonate the wombats!”
- “Look, I hate to be critical, and I know other people have been bad at embroidery before you, but seriously… you just took out an entire city block.”
- “Captain! Sensors indicate a Klingon warship is on an intercept course, and they’re priming their water pistols!”
- “Howdy thar, pardner, get yerself a shot o’ rotgut and join us: we’re discussin’ the use of symbolism in Proust.”
- “Yeah, it’s good at asking for crackers, but I really need a parrot that can calculate a Fourier transform.”
- “Well sure, it’s poor quality, but look at it this way: the fact that a warthog wrote a sonnet at all is pretty impressive.”
- “I recall my Grandpa’s last words to me. ‘My boy, VDMOS transistors exhibit a quadratic Rds(on) vs. Vdss characteristic.’ I try to live by his wisdom!”
- “O Mary darling, no one’s iris dilator muscle contracts as gracefully as yours!”
- Christmas Special Unlikely To Be A Classic: “Trudgy, The Elf Who Mucks Out The Reindeer Stable.”
- Christmas Special Unlikely To Be A Classic: “Frosty The Snowman Prepares His Tax Return.”
- Christmas Special Unlikely To Be A Classic: “The Christmas Pine Beetle.”
- Christmas Special Unlikely To Be A Classic: “The Intestinal Parasites’ Holiday Feast”
- Christmas Special Unlikely To Be A Classic: “A Christmas Carol 2: Carol Harder!”
- Christmas Special Unlikely To Be A Classic: “An Interdisciplinary Analysis Of Holiday Traditions At Ceramic Frog Factories In Boise, Idaho”
- Christmas Special Unlikely To Be A Classic: “The Day The Leftover Eggnog Went Rancid”
- Christmas Special Unlikely To Be A Classic: “Reindeer vs Elk: The Grudge Match”
- “And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight, ‘Merry Christmas to all, and remember that waxing your sleigh runners will shave a few seconds off your run time!'”
- “O Mary darling, you alone hold the key to my heart! Now, don’t lose it before the transplant surgeons need it.”
- “I’m telling you, this volcano is going to erupt, endangering the entire world’s supply of wicker!”
- “But then who will tattoo the parrots?”
- “No, no, I’ve been down that road before. Never again. This time YOU carry the ukulele.”
- “And when our revolution is successful, every citizen will have plaid underwear!”
- “We’ve discussed your husband’s case with every specialist in the hospital, Mrs Smith, and they’re all agreed only one thing can save him: medical drama. Intense, gripping medical drama.”
- New Year’s Resolution Unlikely To Be Made: “This year, I will finally teach a herd of warthogs to perform ‘Carmen.'”
- “Eureka, Jenkins! After decades of research I have created a handkerchief capable of codependency!”
- “Admiral, the alien armada is closing in from all sides, our shields are failing, and our fried catfish turned out soggy!”
- “General, with all due respect, this image does not show a fleet of alien flying saucers screaming into our atmosphere on an attack run. It is, in fact, a jar of dill pickles.”
- “Aye, Captain, if we can intrafibulate the vectoring resonance plotters, then we’ll be able to rectify the collimating phase inducers— and that SHOULD fix the coffeepot.”
- “It seemed like the right thing at the time. How could anyone have predicted the world would one day be doomed because we stopped putting laugh tracks on sitcoms?”
- “And then, when all seemed lost, the ducks lost the microfilm.”
- “You know I love your writing, Will, but I think you need to revise this line, ‘O Romeo, Romeo, did you bring me that pound of bacon I asked for?'”
- “O Mary darling, do you remember how we first met, and you said, ‘Who are you, and why are you wearing an otter costume in my casino?'”
- “I believed it too, once— but it’s time to let go of the dream: you can’t just butter a hubcap and use it as a piano!”
- “Oh no! The podiatrists have the lentil soup!”
- “But no, Watson, you have overlooked that it is impossible to dissolve a saxophone in a sugar solution.”
- “As I watched from my hiding place, the moonlight silvered the still pond and suddenly all the sounds of the forest ceased as if in suspense. He was here. I could feel it. At last, the accordion player was here.”
- “Hoist the mainsail! Batten the hatches! Run out the cannons! Lick the popsicles! Butter the croissants!”
- “Your honor, the defendant is charged with tabulating actuarial statistics while intoxicated.”
- “Now hold on thar, stranger. I’m the law in these here parts, and yew cain’t jest ride into this town without explainin’ how to tie-dye an otter.”
- “Quick, all our lives depend on it! Is that an emu or a rhea? AN EMU OR A RHEA!?”
- “Come away now, it’s no use standing here any longer. You just have to tell yourself, someday there will be another hex wrench… a better one.”
- “Radar shows a massive formation of enemy bombers heading over the Channel— Alert the manicurists!”
- “Captain, we have a storm warning from CINCPAC. Orders are to secure all Jello immediately.”
- “Platoon, you see here the AQX-137 automated tactical unit, equipped with two mounted machine guns and five anti-aircraft missiles, braised in white wine and topped with a little Hollandaise sauce.”
- “Men, tomorrow you’ll parachute into Normandy as part of D-day. Today, you’ll dress sticks of celery in Barbie doll clothes and pretend they’re performing ‘Hamlet.’ Do not let either mission fail!”
- “O Mary darling, how can I describe your beauty? Only with adjectives, comparisons, and other descriptive tools that exist in language.”
- “It’s amazing— you’re the fifth person I’ve met whose life was saved by a mildewed cabbage.”
- “And so began the battle the French call ‘L’Affaire Stupide,’ surely the most decisive battle of mimes versus unicyclists in the whole of the Second World War.”
- “You say you’re okay but I can tell you’re hurting. You need to see someone, get some help. That ostrich isn’t going to let go of your nose by itself.”
- “No, Frodo, I expected a secret inscription to appear when you put the Ring in the fireplace. But I suppose the Barbershop Quartet that materialized made the same point.”
- “No, you fool! You must recalibrate the calipers before you can calibrate the catenary concatenation calculations!”
- “Doctor, the patient’s heart rate has steadied at 72, his BP is 120/80, we’ve administered the IV and have finished engraving the flags of all nations on his teeth.”
- “Eureka, Jenkins! After decades of research I have finally filled an entire notebook and need to buy another!”
- “It was a hard childhood. Our elephant never did learn the tango.”
- “I know it means a lot to you, but I just can’t let you do it. You’re not qualified to weave toupees for tapirs— not yet.”
- “The attack went perfectly at first… then we realized someone had mistakenly sent the last walnut to the bagpipers.”
- “I recall my Grandpa’s last words to me: ‘My boy, always use ratiocination and circumlocution when exculpating your tergiversation.’ I try to live by his simple wisdom.”
- “Arrr, Mateys, we sails on the next tide. So I want ev’ry man jack o’ ye scurvy dogs to pass your MCATs afore then!”
- “What? The mimes ate ALL the asparagus?”
- “No, this was no accident, it was murder— and I can prove it! See here, the settings on the victim’s theremin have been altered to sound like a stylophone!”
- “General! General! I have discovered the enemy’s weakness! Every one of them flunked grade school finger painting!”
- “We gather tonight to honor a true visionary, one who had the audacity to dream, and the determination to prove, that we could produce paperclips for 0.3% less manufacturing costs than previously supposed.”
- “There are some days when you just feel like a Proteocephalidea even though you’re really an Echinococcus granulosus.”
- “Excuse me, may I butter your ostrich?”
- “Abort the launch! Abort the launch! That’s not rocket fuel, it’s tapioca pudding!”
- “Oh, good, the earthworm stylists have arrived.”
- “Wait, I was supposed to reorient the termite mound FIRST?”
- “I do love you, but it can never work out between us. Not as long as your pet yak is molting.”
- “Look, hindsight is 20-20. Of course it’s obvious NOW that building the amphibious landing craft out of pasta was a mistake.”
- “Remarkable, Smythe, this is the first bronze-age warrior’s tomb ever uncovered with weapons, armor and cotton candy machine fully intact!”
- “No, you fool, I said Ascaris lumbricoides, not Parascaris equorum!”
- “The D-day invasion is in less than six hours, and you’re telling me NOW we have an insufficient supply of marshmallow peeps?”
- “O brave Sir Knight, defender of the realm, greatly due we rue that we used fabric softener in polishing thine armor, and now ’tis all wobbly.”
- “…and that’s why an octopus cannot be a prima ballerina. But I digress, we were talking about automotive design.”
- “The epidemic will be contained if we can find patient zero in the next three hours— before the bacterium starts writing sonnets.”
- “How many times must I tell you, never serve sausage gravy on a harmonica?”
- “Why, yes, that is my ostrich. Now, did you also find its harpsichord?”
- “O Mary darling, no one’s extensor tendons have a tensile strength to match yours!”
- “Sure, it’s an ingenious new fusion reactor design, but your instructions fail to mention the bell pepper must be charred before activation.”
- “Drink up me hearties, kale smoothies be good fer ye.”
- “General, our worst fears have been realized. The geese are carrying bagpipes.”
- “We must remain calm and not do anything foolish. So everyone take off the Groucho glasses and put down the coconut cream pies.”
- “This hard and barren ground proved immune to battle’s scars; here armies clashed in bitter strife and yet left no marks to show they had passed; yea, here even their pogo sticks and bowling shoes left no track.”
- “Sandpaper, you say? Well, that exonerates the aardvark, at least.”
- “Eureka, Jenkins! After decades of research I have invented a Type 811 PTFE-Lined Stainless Steel Braided Hose capable of Socratic logic!”
- “Excuse me, I think that pangolin is stealing your clown costume.”
- “Why, no, I’ve never steam-cleaned an electrophotometer. Why do you ask?”
- “I’m sorry to say there’s no cure for your condition. But you can live with it, and a pair of heavy gloves will at least muffle the singing when your fingernails get too cheerful.”
- “Beyond doubt, this is the most important step forward in rutabaga cultivation in nearly a week!”
- “You know I love your writing, Will, but you’ve really gotta rethink this new one, ‘A Midsummer Night’s Proctology Exam.'”
- “You know I love your writing, Will, but you might want to revise the line ‘Caesar, beware that day kinda in the middle of March, about a week after we went out for lattes that one time.'”
- “Mark my words, for doom will fall upon this land! The Sun will be darkened, the Moon become as blood, and then— aye, and then the hamsters will come!”
- “You fool, you’ve given the platypus the wrong bagpipes!”
- “It was you who murdered Lord Melbury— yes, you who concealed yourself inside the footlocker, dressed in the Millard Fillmore costume and armed with the tambourine!”
- “Captain, sensors detect an unidentified ship, heavily armed with phaser banks, photon torpedoes, and over a thousand of those squirting flowers clowns use.”
- “O Mary darling, this cross-referenced spreadsheet of your many qualities is 15% too inadequate to express my overall approval level re: you.”
- “Soon my creation will rise! Igor, throw the switch! Yes— yes, it’s alive! I alone have succeeded where others failed! I alone have bestowed life on wilted asparagus!”
- “That’s no moon… it’s a cardboard cutout someone stuck to the cockpit window.”
- “Now hold on thar, stranger. I’m the Sheriff of these here parts and that thar giraffe ain’t got permission to play them bagpipes.”
- Crime Unlikely To Be Committed: Breaking into a stranger’s house in order to paint their refrigerator bright orange.
- Crime Unlikely To Be Committed: Teaching squid to crochet without a license.
- Crime Unlikely To Be Committed: The illegal detonation of toenail clippings
- Crime Unlikely To Be Committed: Possession with Intent to Distribute of Belly Button Lint in Excess of 35kg
- “Igor you fool, you’ve swapped the ingredients! I can fix what you’ve done to my creature, but these bran muffins are ruined!”
- Dialog Likely To Be Used #DLTBU: “Hi, nice to meet you. Nice weather today, isn’t it?”
- “I accuse you— yes, it was you who stole the Brady Bunch memorabilia from the vault hidden beneath the frozen yogurt store!”
- “Let’s not beat about the bush, we both know why we’re here. You’ve got the toenail clippings, and I want them. Name your price.”
- “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t let you board the aircraft while your wolverine is molting.”
- “Bad news from the front, General. The enemy force is playing ‘It’s a Small World’ on accordions.”
- “I’ve lived with this secret for so many years, but now the truth is out— yes, I was the one who taught our pet dog to play mahjong!”
- “Oh no, NO! You’ve put the asparagus in the wrong safe deposit box!”
- “I love you, but it can never work out between us. Not so long as you keep confusing ostriches with emus.”
- “O Mary darling, remember the first time we met? I was in the crane and you were down in the pool, putting carrots in the water filter… I’ll never forget that day.”
- “Your betrayal is like a dagger to my heart! Well, if a dagger in the heart didn’t kill me, or cause physical injury or bleeding or… okay, it’s not like a dagger to my heart at all. Forget I said that.”
- “My colleagues laughed at me, called me mad. Mad! But the last laugh will be mine, when my army of atomic mutated aardvarks consumes the entire world supply of marshmallow peeps!”
- “We believe the killer is this man— Boris ‘Crusher’ Borisov, ex-KGB agent, known to every law enforcement agency as the most dangerous gerbil trainer in the world.”
- “I tried to warn you. How many times did I tell you, never buy roofing nails from a heart surgeon?”
- “No, it will not be unlikely to never fail to not quite negate the indeterminate non-starting negative antiparticle nullifier.”
- “Why, that’s the most amazing 8’x10″ cedar plank I’ve ever seen!”
- “I love you but it can never work out between us, we’re just too different: your ceramic hedgehog collection is at 1:5 scale and mine is 1:6.”
- “Now, don’t feel so bad, it could happen to anyone. Well, anyone with a llama and five iguanas.”
- “Ah, to be young again, all possibilities still ahead of me and all my zither strings still woven into the wicker furniture.”
- “Well, yes, I suppose it’s possible, but I think it’s more likely the mimes were simply reconfiguring the electron microscope.”
- “Eureka, Jenkins! After decades of research, I have finally invented the self-cleaning thumbtack!”
- “Gold doubloons? The chest is filled with gold doubloons!? WHERE are my pencil shavings?”
- “Listen! You’ve got to believe me! If you don’t varnish that toothpick, we’re all doomed!”
- “I’m sorry, after what happened that day at the tailor shop, I just can never trust an ichthyologist again.”
- “Oh, pardon me, did I infiltrate your llama enclosure?”
- “We’re running out of time— you’ve got to finish knitting that warp engine cozy before the Klingons arrive!”
- “Well I suppose you could but only if you figured out a way to tie-dye a llama first.”
- “Oh, I’m sorry, I mistook your chicken for an accountant.”
- “My name is Lancelot, Sir Lancelot of Camelot, and I will be offering discount carpet cleaning in your neighborhood next week. Call for a free estimate.”
- “Well it’s certainly an impressive resume but right now NASA is only hiring astronauts with lion-taming experience.”
- “Bad news, Admiral— the mimes have stolen all the accordions.”
- “And now, in lieu of exchanging rings, the happy couple have elected to solemnize their vows by juggling their pet porcupines.”
- “I’m sorry the particle accelerator exploded. It’s my fault, I thought that when the calculations said ‘deep-dish pizza’ that it was a mistake of some kind.”
- “Now, this is most important. You must paint your nose green BEFORE clipping the trigger wire, not after.”
- “This then was when Admiral Farragut made his great mistake: the person he spoke to was not the inventor of the ironclad warship but rather a passing mime supplier.”
- Rocketship X-M to Mission Control— abort the launch! Abort the launch! The aardvark stylist is not on board!”
- “My friends all say I have unreasonable expectations but I say there’s nothing wrong with high standards, and I refuse to marry any man who does not have a giant shrimp head.”
- “You know I love your writing, Will, but maybe in this scene Caesar could three times refuse a crown, rather than a coupon for discount sushi?”
- “Why, this must surely be the most sesquipedalian set of bagpipes in the world!”
- “Why, I’d be delighted to do that for you! Just tell me where your accordion is, and I’ll bring my liver and onions recipe.”
- “You’ll never take me alive, coppers! I’ve got an electron microscope and I’m not afraid to use it!”
- “The invasion armada is approaching! Quick— summon the caseiculturists!”
- “Always the same dilemma! An otter or a bagpipe? An otter or a bagpipe!?”
